About Dads...

Since father's Day, I've been mulling this post around in my head.  It's a bit rambling, so bear with me...
Over the past year or so, Elizabeth has asked about her father periodically.  She has only seen him a handful of times during brief supervised visits when she was a baby.  I have never met him, but I know his name and generally where he lives.  Also, when Elizabeth was adopted, the social worker gave me a picture of him, as well as of E's birthmom.  I have shown these pictures to Elizabeth several times and explained who they are.  Of course, we discuss her adoption periodically.  I think as she gets older, she is starting to understand it more and processing it more each time we talk about it.  But back to the main topic of this post.  Dads...
Most of the kids at E's Day Care/Preschool have two parents living with them,  Most of them have Dads.  A lot of these Dads are very involved, caring, loving, etc...When I see a Dad hoist their giggling child up on to his shoulders, or protectively hold his little girl's hand while walking to their car, a little piece of my heart breaks.  It can bring tears to my eyes, because my little girl doesn't have that.   And I wish she did.  I wish she had a Dad who she could wrap around her little finger, who thinks the sun rises and sets with her.  Who could teach her how to play baseball and watch football with her on TV.  There are no easy answers to this.  Sometimes I even think, was it fair of me to adopt Elizabeth as a single parent?  Was it fair of me to take away her chance at having a Dad?  I love my daughter with all my heart, and cannot imagine my life without her.  And for me, I don't necessarily feel like I need a partner (although if the right person came along, that would be lovely...).  But what about Elizabeth?  Does she see all the Dads that her friends have and wish she had what they have?   I don't know, and I honestly can't bring myself to think about it too deeply.  The idea of Elizabeth hurting, or feeling a "lack" of anything in her life just breaks my heart. 

All that being said, we luckily have some excellent "father figures" in our lives.  First, we have my Dad, who is a great Grandpa to E.  And then we have her two Uncles, my brother and brother-in-law.  She doesn't get to see them as often as we'd like, but when we do, they are attentive, loving and fun!! with her.  And...we also have some awesome Dads of friends of E's who we spend time with. 

Sooo...no real point to this post, just felt like I wanted to write my thoughts on this topic.  As Elizabeth gets older, I know the discussions around adoption, race (a topic for another post), and being in a single parent household will evolve and get more complex.  One thing I realize though, any guilt I might feel about E not having a Dad is something that I need to deal with by myself, not put it on Elizabeth.   I want her to feel like she can be open with me about her feelings.  I don't want her to ever feel like she has to keep things from me in order to protect me, or take care of my feelings.  I want her to know, whatever she is feeling, she can talk to me about it, I can handle it.  I'm her Mama, that's my job.

Life is good (according to my Blackberry photos)

First off...

Caught sneaking Grapes at the grocery store...

Fun at the Splash Park with friends from Day Care...

On Friday night, we went out for ice cream with friends Misty and Paden (that's Misty holding E up at the counter)...

A friend's birthday party on Saturday morning...

Chillaxin by the pool...

Going for a ride in a neighbor's Barbie Jeep...

Elizabeth's day off :)

So, we've been having a little heat wave here in Boston for the last couple days.  On Wednesday, I let Elizabeth play hookey from Day Care and go to the beach with our friend Maria.  Mommy had to work, but E and M had lots of fun!   Maria took some pictures, yay!

At the park next to the beach, there were some teenagers who had set up a tight rope.  Apparently Miss E asked if she could try it, and the kids were happy to let her and help her out :)

Our weekend in pictures

Really a laid back weekend.  We had no birthday parties on the schedule for a change! 

Hanging out at the pool for a little while Friday evening

Some playground time at the Y after Mommy's work out :)

a visit to Petco

E staying warm on a trip to the grocery store :)

Silly pics :)

Monkey Joe's, where E and I went on Wednesday, has a little photo booth, so we decided to get our pics taken.  :)

"Practice Kindergarten" and Monkey Joe's

Well, Kindergarten Orientation was a success,  Miss E declared Kindergarten as being "great!"  She made a necklace with beads, decorated a paper fish, had a snack and played duck duck goose. Oh, and used the Kindergarten bathroom!  :)  Sounds like a fun morning to me!  So, I'm pretty excited for September!  (also pretty excited to not have to pay Day Care tuition anymore...!

After Kindergarten Orientation (or "practice Kindergarten" as E calls it), we headed to one of E's favorite laces, Monkey Joe's.  It's an indoor bouncy/jumpy playplace.  It was a perfect place to go on this very rainy day.  It was so nice to be able to spend the afternoon with my girl :)   Sorry about the blurriness of the pictures, it's hard to capture a constantly moving target!

All in all, a great day :)

Kindergarten Orientation!!!

As I write this, my little girl is at...Kindergarten!!!  Yep, big day today.  Today is Kindergarten Orientation, where the kids go for 2.5 hours this morning to get to know the classroom, the school, and do some activities with the Kindergarten teachers.  The parents got to meet with the Principal and the school nurse, and get a tour of the school, before getting kicked out until 11:30 when we come back to pick up our kiddos. :)  The building was just newly built last year, so it is really nice, very modern and fresh looking. 
Elizabeth was very excited about going to "practice Kindergarten" today, and couldn't wait to go this morning.  She got a little nervous once we were there, in a strange new building with no one she knew yet, but she did fine separating.  I can't wait to pick her up and hear all about her morning!   She is growing up soooo fast.  In less than a month she'll be 5, she's already lost 2 teeth, and in under 3 months she will officially be in Elementary school.  Yikes!!!!!!!!  It's all making my head spin just a little bit...

The weekend in pictures, and video!

Our weekend was good here.  We had a little pool time (yay, it finally stopped raining!), and on Saturday afternoon, E's Day Care had a 40th birthday party/fundraiser. 

Enjoying a little ice cream on a hot afternoon :)

And finally, E loves "making movies" from my phone, so here is a little sample...:)

I'll never know how...

I got so lucky to be this little girl's Mommy...

Fresh from the hairdresser, and with a generous amount of self-applied lip gloss :)

Blackberry Photo dump

Oops, it's been a little while since my last post.  Things are good here.  Very much looking forward to taking a few a days off over the 4th of July.  We'll be heading up to Maine, as usual.  Can't wait! 

Here are just a few pics from my phone that I took on Sunday.  We were hanging out at our friends' house and their baby sitter. 

Colleen (E's friends' babysitter) reading the girls a story

Rainy Monday morning on our way to school