My Story

      This is the story of how I came to be Elizabeth's Mom. It's my side of the story, at least. I'm not going to share any of the details of E's first family or how she came to be with me. That's her story, and it's up to her who she wants to share it with.  Thanks for understanding :)

First of all, I have always wanted children.  There was never a time in my life when I didn’t want to be a Mom. When I was 8 years old, I was diagnosed with a rare Chromosomal abnormality called Turner Syndrome that resulted in my being infertile. Since I was so young when I was diagnosed, I didn’t really understand or think about the implications of this for many years. As a teenager, I babysat frequently, so I could get my “baby fix.” In college, I was busy doing the college thing (partying, even sometimes studyingJ ) and didn’t think too much about having children then, I knew I wasn’t ready.  When I did think about it, it was in kind of a vague way. I knew I probably could not get pregnant, but I wasn’t positive. I knew I wanted children, but I didn’t think too much at that time how I would get them.  It wasn’t until I was in my late 30’s that I really became serious about becoming a Mom. I knew by this time that I would not be able to have a baby biologically. I loved the idea of adopting, but felt that it was out of my reach financially, and that I’d never get approved as a single parent.  It was also at this time that I had a job working with children in the Foster Care system. I would go to their Foster homes and do developmental screenings with them.  I fell in love with these children, and often with the families who cared for them.

     For me, I knew I wanted a child, but I was scared to adopt on my own. I wasn’t sure I could be a good single parent. So, I decided to become a Foster parent. Somehow, that seemed like less of a commitment, and less responsibility (not sure how I figured that…???) I took the Pride classes that the county required, and in April of 2006, I became a licensed Foster parent. I waited eagerly for a placement. Finally, on June 2^nd, while I was at work, I received a call about a new born baby girl who had been born two days earlier and needed to be picked up from the hospital. They weren’t sure how long she would stay with me, maybe two weeks, maybe 6 months. I immediately said yes, and frantically ran to Babies R Us to stock up on everything I thought I would need. Then I went to the hospital and brought home this sweet little girl, who I called “Molly” and of course fell in love with her, and with being a Mom. I knew she would not be reunited with her mother, so I started to hope that I would be able to keep her. She ended up staying with me for 6 months, and then went out of state where she was adopted by an amazing, wonderful family that already had Molly’s older brother. I was devastated when Molly left, but deep down, I knew she was exactly where she was supposed to be. I knew that I was not Molly’s forever mother.

     I grieved for several months, and then decided that I was ready for another child, but this one was going to stay. I could not say goodbye to another baby at this time. So I went through the process to get approved to adopt from the Foster Care system. I was officially approved on August 1^st, 2007. This time around, I waited even more impatiently for “the call.” And in early November, it came. My social worker called to tell me about a 4 month old little girl who had been in a foster home since birth, and needed a pre-adoptive home, since it was likely her parents’ rights would be terminated. CPS was still providing reunification services with the parents, but the prognosis was poor it would work out. So I was what the county called a “concurrent placement”- if reunification didn’t happen, then I would be able to adopt the baby.  Two weeks later when I met with the social worker, and she showed me pictures of the baby, I was even more of a goner. Nothing could have made me say no to taking home this sweet little baby girl.  However, the decision by CPS would not be made until after Thanksgiving, because my sw was going away on vacation. I went up to Santa Barbara with my friend Julie, and took those two little pictures of baby girl with me everywhere.  I had already fallen in love, and was terrified that something would fall through, and CPS would decide not to place her with me. But they did, and on November 30^th, 2007, I finally met my daughter Elizabeth. Her social worker brought her to my apartment, and my little girl was sound asleep in the car seat  in the back of the social worker’s car when I ran out to meet her. I gathered her up in my arms, and haven’t let go since. The adoption was finalized on March 4^th, 2009. Elizabeth and I are a little family. Life is just so much better with her in it. J