Couldn't resist...

 

Lol!

 

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My head is going to explode!

So, as I've mentioned before, I read a lot of adoption blogs. Many of them have pretty strong views on adoption, both pro-adoption, and anti-adoption. I've read blogs that tout adoption as God's plan, and "meant to be." And I've read blogs where adoption is compared to slavery, and that it's "legalized kidnapping." I think I'm overdosing on adoption blogs, actually, because it's all starting to sound like noise coming at me from all different directions. I'm taking in all these different viewpoints and trying to make sense of it, this adoption. I think, 5 years later, I'm still trying to process this huge thing I did. Today, though, two things grounded me. The first was, watching a mom with her infant twins. On paper, she doesn't look like she could be a fit mother. She has an extensive history of addiction and mental health issues. Child Protective Services was thisclose to taking the babies from her at birth, but they didn't. And I watch this mom with her little newborns, so nurturing, and in tune with them. She knows their cries, the things that will soothe one, but not the other, and everything else about their little personalities that are just starting to develop. The way she looks at them, and talks about them is so incredibly loving, even when she's complaining about the lack of sleep. The three of them are so clearly bonded and meant to be together, it seems unthinkable that there almost could have been a prospective adoptive parent holding those babies instead. The second thing today that grounded me was, snuggling with my daughter in bed as she fell asleep ( yes, she still sleeps with me). It made all those voices go quiet, it made everything seem ok. I don't know how E will feel about being adopted when she's older, and I don't know how her birthmother feels about the adoption. But lying there snuggling with E, for a few minutes, I stopped worrying about it all and just was present. And boy, today, I really needed that.

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An early Valentine

E brought this home in her folder today...

xoxoxox

And totally unrelated...she still loves her dog Isabella...

I love this kid!

 

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Monster Mini Golf

On Sunday, after E's skating lesson, we headed to an indoor mini golf place, where we met up with one of E's friends from school. In addition to mini golf, there are lots of games to play where you can win tickets. As you can see, E and C won a lot of tickets!

Very dark in the mini golf area!

It was a fun afternoon. Thanks to C and his mom for hanging out with us!

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Is her Birth Certificate a lie?

So I signed up Elizabeth for Soccer yesterday. In order to register her, I had to provide a copy of her Birth Certificate (to verify that she meets the age requirement to play). Doing so made me think again about this legal document that we have and what it says. It says that I'm her mother, which is true. I am. But it implies that I gave birth to her, which obviously, I did not. It totally obliterates her first mother. And let's not even get into the fact that under "father", it is blank. So apparently, on 7/11/07, I magically produced and delivered a baby all by myself. Funny, I could have sworn I was actually sitting in a California Law and Ethics class that night...
Seriously, though, I don't understand why it is necessary for the amended Birth Certificate to erase E's birth parents. It's a Birth Certificate. J gave birth to her. That is a fact. I have no need to claim that I did. Why can't there just be an addendum to the original Birth Certificate, denoting the adoption? In answer to the question I asked in the post title, I'm going to say, yes, her amended Birth Certificate is kind of a lie. One thing that I am so glad of is that I have a copy of her original BC. Of course, legally, it is null and void, but I hope that it will mean something one day to E to have it.

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Bedtime prayers

I am not an especially religious person at all, but often, E and I do say our prayers before going to sleep. It's mostly about expressing thankfulness for what we have, and wanting blessings for the people we care about and love. I love that always, always, Elizabeth asks God to bless J and K, her birth parents. That gives me a lump in my throat every time. In a good way.

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Series about foster care adoption dissolutions

I just wanted to share this four part series on foster care adoption dissolutions. Very sad, and thought provoking.

And on a totally different note...a totally gratuitous cute picture of my sweetie with her light sabor, just because...

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MLK, Jr.

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Meet Isabella, the male Elephant Ear Betta fish

Introducing the newest member of our family...

Elizabeth really, really wants a cat or dog, but she settled for a fish...She decided to name him Isabella, even though it's a boy :) We got him on the spur of moment today after her skating lesson. Actually, it wasn't totally spur of the moment; we've been talking about getting a fish off and on for a while now. And yesterday, we had a play date at a friend's house, and we admired their little Betta fish, so today I decided it was finally time to get one of our own. Kinda fun!

 

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Another great post from "My Brown Baby"

Love this and wanted to share...for my amazing, smart, beautiful little girl...xoxoxoxo

More food to feed my obsession with all things Adoption

Late to the party as always, I discovered a series in the Huffington Post called Portrait of an Adoption.  It is 30 different stories of adoption, told by adoptive parents, birthparents, and adoptees. Love!!!! Go check it out :)

Some mail from Elizabeth!

Today in the mail, I received this letter, addressed to "Mummy K--" from Elizabeth, sent from school. :)

xoxoxoxox

 

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Snowy morning at the bus stop

E was very excited to see the snow this morning, and is hoping to go sledding. Unfortunately, the snow is supposed to change over to rain later on today, so I'm not sure that's going to happen....

 

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Ear piercing

This morning, I read this post on My Brown Baby (I love that blog!) about little girls of color getting their ears pierced at very young ages.

 

When Elizabeth came to me at 4 months old, she already had pierced ears (I assume her foster mom had had it done). So cute! They lasted until she was 2 years old and one of her earrings came out in her crib and got lost. At that point I took the other one out and let the holes close up. I decided she could get them repierced when she was older, when/if she wanted to. I wasn't going to make her wait until a certain age, but I also wasn't going to traumatize my toddler by having it done then. Well, now at age 5, she has been starting to ask to get her ears pierced, so I guess the time is coming soon...I'm actually feeling kind of excited that she wants it done!

Elizabeth on ice :)

So, thanks to my Mom, Elizabeth started skating lessons on Sunday. I think she did great for her first time on the ice! Most importantly, E really enjoyed it, and quickly made friends with a couple other little girls in her class.

 

 

 

 

Great job, Miss E! xoxoxox

 

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Elizabeth at Five and a half

Just thought I'd bust out the bullets and give an E update...

-her favorite food continues to be Fried Rice

- her favorite movies are Brave, Cinderella, The Lorax, Beauty and the Beast, and now Star Wars at Maria's house

- Her favorite color is purple

- She still sleeps with me :)

-She is working up her courage to get her ears pierced

-She loves school, and her teachers

-She has some sight words that she can read

-She loves to snuggle on the couch and hold hands when we walk

-She loves our iPad and has pretty much taken it over :0

-She has great manners, and is really good about saying "please" and "thank you"

She loves listening to Top Forty music in the car

Her mommy is is incredibly proud of her :)

 

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66 months and a rambling post...

So, yesterday my girl turned five and a half. How did that happen? I know it is such a cliche, but in retrospect, it really does seem like it's gone by fast. I love watching her grow, and become more mature and independent. I love how much she loves school. It is so awesome watching her turn into this amazing person. However, I have to say, I love the baby stage, and kind of miss it..l always thought I'd adopt again by the time E was 4 or 5, but as I've mentioned before, that is most likely not going to happen...Actually, what I'd really love to do is stay home and be a foster mom to a baby or toddler. However, since I kind of need to work to pay rent and feed us, I guess right now, that's not an option either...I've really come to a place where I'm obsessed with passionate about foster care and adoption and I feel like I want to become more involved with it, at both a professional level, and a personal level. I like my current job (Substance Abuse Counselor), but I would really like to work with children and families around Foster Care and Adoption. One of my goals for 2013 is to make that happen.

The other day, E said to me, "I wish God would put a baby brother into your belly." Then, a few minutes later she said, "Actually, I don't wish that. We don't have room for a crib here." (Actually, we do. It's not like a certain person uses her bedroom to sleep in, anyway...ahem...)

 

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Winter stuff

Sorry this pic is so blurry, but I love how E rocks her new earmuffs :)

She had seen them at the store back in November and asked for them. I said no at the time, and she forgot about them. But I did end up getting them and sneaking them into her stocking for Christmas. She cracks me up when she wears them!

In other winter related news, E will be starting skating lessons this Sunday. My mom signed her up for a class, yay!!! I got her a nice pair of skates at a used sporting goods store yesterday, so she's all set. E has never ice skated before, so this should be fun. She is super-excited about it:)

 

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Through her eyes...

Thanks to the gift card my (awesome) sister sent us for Christmas, I got Elizabeth a kids' digital camera. Since she is always wanting to take pictures with my phone, I knew this would be a hit. Here are just a few of the pics she's taken over the past few days...

Me:)

The doggie she got for Christmas, who she named Isabella:

At the grocery store:

Self-portrait:

 

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Back into the routine (and a Grey's Anatomy rant...)

Our Holidays were great, but I think Elizabeth is glad to be back to the routine, and back to school. I think she missed her friends and her teachers. I love that she is liking Kindergarten so much!

Playing outside at Grandma and Grandpa's yesterday afternoon...

On another note...(very) late to the party as always, I started watching Grey's Anatomy on Netflix. I never watched it before, but I'm on the third season now. So addictive! And Dr. McDreamy...oh, yeah...:) There was one adoption related storyline on the show that bothered me though. It was the one where Izzy revealed that as a teenager, she gave up a child for adoption. When Izzy was treating a pregnant girl in the hospital, she was actually trying to talk the girl into giving up her baby, even when the girl was saying she loved her baby and wanted to keep it. Izzy trotted out the whole tired argument about the girl not being able to give her child "the kind of life it deserves" because she lives in a trailer park and the girl's mother works in a factory. As if having a low income makes someone an unfit parent. Ugg...ok, enough of my rant. I know it's only a TV show, but it just bothered me to see that kind of coercion and the idea that she isn't good for enough for her own baby being put into that girl's head.

 

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It's that time of year...

and I'm thinking a lot about what goals (I don't really like calling them resolutions for some reason) I have for this year. Yesterday's post in the excellent blog Daddy doin Work had a great way of looking at goals/resolutions, so I thought I'd share it. Go check it out!

 

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And it's a wrap...

See ya, 2012...

Welcome, 2013! Hope your new year is filled with lots of joy and love.

xoxoxoxox

 

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