Friday, March 28, 2008

Scary thoughts

I don't talk about this much in my blog, but the whole adoption process is kind of stressful to me. Especially because we have such a long, long way to go before Elizabeth is legally mine. Emotionally, of course, she is my daughter, but I'd just as soon have it be legal, too. I sometimes feel like she could be taken from me at any minute, like I have no rights (which, actually, I don't, as her "foster mom"). I reassure myself by thinking, of course she will stay with me, where else is she going to go? Her birth parents aren't able to raise her, so she won't be going with them. Her extended birth family has been ruled out as caregivers, for various reasons. So she won't be going with them. Is there anyone else who could pop out of the woodwork and take her? I don't really think so, but what if?? What if? I don't know what I'd do. It would just be unthinkable. I don't know why the county has to be so s-l-o-w with this process. The longer it takes, the more anxious I get. I feel like every extra day is a day that something could potentially go wrong. Not a fun way to live, and I hope I'm not projecting that on to Elizabeth. I just want her to have a secure, happy babyhood. This "concurrent placement" stuff is kinda stressful. I just want the county to step it up a notch, and not take so long. But there is nothing I can do about that. I guess all I can do is just continue to raise my beautiful little girl, and try not to dwell on the legal stuff. I know in the end it will all work out and the judge will stamp those adoption papers.

3 comments:

Eliza2006 said...

Yes, that is stressful. I can't even imagine it. Keep us posted. You will be in my thoughts.

Tiffany

Abby's Mom said...

((((BIG HUGS))))

Luiza said...

Hang in there Annie, try not to think to much about bad possibilities! I know it's hard, but luckily growing adorable kids keep us really busy and in the moment with life. The future is the future, the past is the past....and the present, well that's why they call it the "present"!

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