Wednesday, February 20, 2013

What is ok and not ok to blog about?

As Elizabeth is getting older, it is feeling more and more important to me to respect her privacy. This means being really mindful about what I share on this blog. Vague-blogging (i.e. "something really major happened last night, but I can't blog about it since it's so private...") drives me nuts. I hate it when people do that. I won't be a vague-blogger. But I am left with kind of a dilemma. Mostly I post cute pictures and recap stuff we've done. And occasionally I'll write a more "deep" post about my feelings about something usually adoption related. But I very rarely blog about the more intimate details of our lives, the real ups and downs we have around here. Since it's just Elizabeth and me, with no one else to dilute things, it can get pretty intense. E is an amazing, awesome kid, but oooh yeah, we have our challenges. It's hard for me to blog about the hard parts for a couple reasons, 1- the privacy issue, and 2- I guess a big part of me feels afraid of being judged as a parent if I write openly about our struggles. It just seems easier to post smiling pics of us at Disney on Ice and not go into all of the other stuff. Now just to be clear, our "challenges" are not anything out of the ordinary. I'm not keeping some deep dark secret (not being a vague-blogger, I promise!). Basically I'm just talking about the ordinary challenges that a single working mom and her kid go through. How much is ok to blog about? Often, I think I'd like to get into more personal stuff (sometimes a mama needs to vent, ya know?), but it feels like an invasion of E's privacy so I don't. If our pictures and names weren't already out there on this blog, maybe I would feel more free to. But since they are, I feel limited in what I can/will share. I'm not complaining. More just thinking out loud. I actually like my blog (if I do say so myself ;). I think it will be a great record for E of her childhood. And while I sometimes would love to vent about the more challenging things around here, because it would be nice to get the support (being a single mom can be tough, people!), I won't give up my daughter's privacy to do it. So I guess I just keep going how I've been going, lots of cute pics and recaps of the fun stuff E does. Because that stuff is real, as real as all the mundane stuff that doesn't get blogged about.
I would love to get any of your thoughts about the privacy issue, all you mommy bloggers out there. Where do you draw the line about what you will blog about?


Andy Drouin said...

My personal line in the sand is I never blog about things (or feelings) that I woudn't tell my mothers (both adoptive and birht) or Liam's Mom. Beyond that there are some things that I deem too private that I don't share on the blog, but will discuss in private forums with my group of "computer people"

good luck, it's not an easy thing to figure out.

TTABaby said...

So I have blogged anonymously on ttababy. I think if you really spent some time you could at least figure out what state I'm in. I think I slipped on DH name once. I started blogging anonymously and then introduced a few close friends as well as my mom to read and learn about adoption. That is the main reason I stopped blogging because it wasn't "private" anymore. I missed blogging (which you may have seen by my continued posts). So I started a new blog (ourfamilysfingerprints) with no mention of it on my old blog. Its been liberating to blog openly again. There have been some things adoption related that I have not been able to blog about because there were people who knew us. At times I feel like blogging anonymously is a cop out but it also allows me to share things I wish I knew while we waited and now that we have adopted. Really my story could have been anyones story.

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