6 months!

Elizabeth has been with me for 6 months exactly today!! What an awesome 6 months it has been!! :) Happy anniversary, sweetie pie, I love you!



On another note...Thursday afternoon was the worst!

Yesterday afternoon was a nightmare! I had to go to a late afternoon meeting downtown. Elizabeth has to be picked up by 5, because her Day Care provider goes to pick up other kids at 5:05. So I left the meeting early enough (I thought), but then I missed an exit off the freeway, so I had to take a different route, and traffic was all backed up. I called the provider, and she was all stressed out because she can't go pick up the other kids until I get there. I was sitting there in stand still traffic, totally freaking out, and there was nothing I could do to get to the Day Care faster. I ended up being about 15 minutes late. I apologized a million times to Imelda (the provider) she said "it's ok" but she kept talking about it, and this morning she was still talking about it. She wasn't mean or anything, just stressed out and annoyed, I think. Ugg...this is my issue with Home Day Cares as opposed to centers. There is so much less flexibility. I realize now I should have 1) arranged for someone else (hi Auntie Julie!) to pick Elizabeth up earlier, or 2) left the car seat with Imelda so she could have taken Elizabeth with her to pick up the kids. Needless to say, I did not earn any "Mother of the Year" awards from anyone yesterday!

Memorial Day week-end

We had a nice 3 day week-end. We stuck pretty close to home, but it was great to just hang out and not have to race around for a few days. The weather wasn't great, kind of drizzly on and off, but we did sneak in a visit to the playground at Balboa Park one morning. Elizabeth LOVES the swings, unfortunately I left my camera in the car, so no pics, but she was absolutely cracking up everytime I pushed her. So cute!!!

She is getting to be such a big girl, crawling everywhere and pulling up on everything.

Having fun riding on Auntie Carol's shoulders (and pulling her hair)

She cried again this morning when I dropped her off at Day Care, but they tell me she stops right after I leave. It still makes me feel terrible, but I know it's normal behavior...Ugg...I so want to be a SAHM!!!

Ouch

Well, today Elizabeth cried for the first time when I left her at Day Care...On the one hand, that is a positive thing; it's normal for her age and shows that our attachment is on track. But on the other hand...ouch...I wanted to just scoop her up and take her home, but I was good and told her I loved her and that I'd be back to get her, and then left. I don't want to be one of those moms who feeds into the crying and hangs out until the child is hysterical.
I'm so happy we have a long week-end!!!

Just because

Here are a few pics of my little cutie pie, just because...

The three day week end is close at hand, yipee!!!

Elizabeth's Sunday

First, she said "good morning" to Elmo...

Then she went to play at her favorite toy- her Baby Leap Frog table, which she is now pulling to stand on! (She is still growing into her new summer jammies :)

After Church, we had a yummy lunch at Auntie Julie's.

After nap time, we went to Mission Bay Park to beat the heat.

"I didn't put any grass in my mouth, honest, mom!"







She LOVES the swings!!


Then, home for dinner, and finally, she had a much needed bath...

More Saturday pics

I've taken out her pig tails for the time being because I could see that her scalp was getting irritated, and I don't want her getting any bald spots. She has really gotten pretty good about letting me put the oil and detangler in her hair and comb it out. Cheerios and TV are great distractions!

Having a snack at Auntie Julie's

Nap time

I love how she sleeps with her little bottom up in the air!

Doing fine

Elizabeth had a great night, I didn't hear a peep out of her until her usual 6AM wake up time. She was still a little coldy (runny nose, coughing some) this morning so I took her to the doctor to make sure she was ok. The Dr. said she was fine, no fever, ears and lungs are fine. So off she went to Day Care, armed with a Dr's note saying she is ok to be there, and I'm at work. I would have loved to have kept her home today, but as my friend Misty pointed out, if I stay home every time she has the sniffles, I'll be missing A LOT of work...
Looking very forward to the week-end :) Hope you all have a great one!!!

Two firsts

We had two firsts today: One was, I got my first "your kid is sick, come get her" call from Day Care. She has a runny nose and a bit of a cough, no temp though. She was reportedly quite fussy at Day Care this morning, but was happy as a clam (except for the times I wiped her nose) at home this afternoon. Actually, I was quite happy to be home with her, too. I had really been missing her this morning at work (see the last post) then the Day Care called. They thought I'd be mad about having to leave work to get Elizabeth. I was like, I'll be there in 5 minutes! I was very sad to have to miss our weekly staff meeting at work...NOT!! Anyway, Elizabeth is doing ok, we'll see how her night goes.
The other first today was: Elizabeth pulled to stand all by herself!! She did it tonight while I was getting her bath ready, she pulled up on the side of the bathtub! I was so excited, she has been trying to do this for a few weeks now.
A heat wave is coming starting tomorrow, time to break out all of Elizabeth's cute sun dresses and shorts!! :)

The Gift of Life

I saw this poem on another blog and thought it was so sweet, and expressed exactly how I feel about my little angel. Sorry for the sappiness, I'm at work and missing her...

The Gift of Life
(author unknown)
*
I didn't give you the gift of life,
But in my heart I know.
The love I feel is deep and real,
As if it had been so.
*
For us to have each other
Is like a dream come true.
No, I didn't give you
The gift of life.
Life gave me the gift of you~

Don't use Teleflora

I've had this post mulling around in my head the past few days, but finally decided to actually write it out. On Sunday night, Teleflora sponsored a contest on TV, to vote for "America's favorite mom". They had several different categories, like single mom, military mom, etc. But the one I really loved was the "non mom", which was the category used for...adoptive moms! Well, of course they got such an angry response from the adoption community, they quickly changed the name of the category, and offered a very patronizing, too-late apology.
Now, I had no intention of watching the silly show anyway, it just sounded too gaggifying for words. Plus, you know I was a little busy with my "non mom" duties of getting Elizabeth bathed and to bed, and getting bottles and clothes organized for the next day, cleaning the kitchen floor (where half her dinner was), putting away laundry, etc.
Anyway, the next time you decide to send me flowers, 'cause I'm so awesome, please don't use Teleflora.

Happy Mother's Day!!!

Well, what can I say? This was the happiest, best Mother's Day EVER!!!! I cannot even tell you how blessed I feel to be this little girl's mother. The Child Dedication Ceremony at Church this morning was so special. As I stood at the front of the church with Elizabeth, I realized that I felt every bit as much of a mother as the other moms standing next to us with their children. I had no feelings of "faking it" or that I was not entitled to call myself Elizabeth's mother. It all just felt so right. I know that I was meant to be Elizabeth's mom.

I'm thinking a lot about Elizabeth's birthmother today. I can never find words to express my gratitude to her for the beautiful child she has given me. As I told my friend Julie today, I don't wish that Elizabeth had come out of me. If she had, she would not be the little person she is, and there is not a thing I would change about her. She is perfect exactly the way she is.

Here is the card she made me at Day Care on Friday :)

I want to say a big thank you for all your nice comments to my previous post, you are such great supports!! I love you my bloggy peeps!!

Happy Mother's Day to all of you!!

Child Dedication Ceremony

This coming Sunday, Elizabeth will be formally welcomed into our Church in what they call the Child Dedication Ceremony. It's sort of like being Christened. We get up in front of the church and the minister asks me some questions (ex. Do I promise to always love and nurture this child? Um, yeah...) and gives a dedication and the congregation welcomes her. I don't know all the details, but I'm sure I'll cry. Between the ceremony, it being my first Mother's Day(!!!!!) and Elizabeth turning 10 months on that day- it should be quite an intense Sunday.

Thinking about the ceremony is bringing up a lot of feelings for me. Part of me feels like I don't have the right to have Elizabeth participate in this ceremony, because she is not yet legally my daughter. I don't like feeling this way. I want to be the one making the decisions for her, not CPS. I don't want to have to get some judge's permission to take her to Maine for vacation in June. I'm tired of social workers, and most of all, I want to be able to stop worrying that something will go wrong with the adoption and she will be taken from me. I want the name I call her to be her legal name. I'm tired of how slow CPS is. Ok, whine, whine whine...

Aside from the above mentioned "stressors," life with Elizabeth is wonderful. She is SUCH a joy. It makes me feel so good to see that she is such a happy little girl. I love her so much. It's weird, though; on the one hand I feel like she is a part of me, I feel so connected to her. On the other hand, when I refer to her as my daughter, I almost feel like I'm faking it, or lying. I don't know if that's because the adoption isn't final yet, or because this is all still relatively new. Whatever...I will just be glad when this marathon/adoption process is OVER. Until then, I'm holding my breath.

Feliz 5 de Mayo!!

Sunday fun

Elizabeth and I love going for walks with her in her snuggli!

We went to the Swap Meet and out to lunch with Auntie Carol.

We even made a new friend today! Elizabeth loves dogs.

Happy Friday!

Elizabeth playing with her "cousin" Bridget (Julie's great-niece) this evening.

This afternoon, a social worker from Californa Early Start came over and did a brief developmental evaluation of Elizabeth, and yes, my girl passed with flying colors :)

I'm so happy it's the week-end. I'm sure Elizabeth will sleep in tomorrow morning since we don't have to get up early. Uh huh...